A welcome letter soon to be published for the return of satirical sports site, SportDistort
We at SportDistort are glad you all enjoyed London Olympics and Paralympics 2012. As I’m sure you’ll all agree, Seb did a wonderful job warming you all up for the 2013 SportDistort relaunch. That’s right, we’re back and bigger than ever. Bigger than a Zigic on stilts. Bigger than the number of you purporting to understand the SuperBowl. Even bigger than the number of those striking Lance Armstrong off of their Christmas card list.
Sport needs its extended metaphors and it’s safe to say we left a SportDistort shaped hole in that department. But now we’re up and raring to go. Ready to rewrite the sporting history books. Hell, we’re raring to rewrite the very fundamentals of physics (with the exception of “that” Cisse goal – come on, we never claimed to be that good).
SportDistort hysteria is all set to sweep the nation, but first here’s some insight as to what we’ve been up to. Shortly after teaching Mo the Mo-bot, we began a covert viral campaign to have Jake Humphries removed from BBC’s F1 coverage – they weren’t good enough for him. All was set for a triumphant return over Christmas, but we had to postpone after we received the opportunity to do a spot of first team coaching at Aston Villa FC. They say the captain goes down with his ship, but there’s an exception to every rule and it’s name is Villa. And just as recently as February 1st we opened a Parisian office courtesy of a generous donation from an undisclosed source with great hair and impeccable dress sense.
But now we’re back and ready to reignite that flame in your heart that went out. All that’s left for us is to invite you to rediscover your love for completely factual sports scoops and exclusives, and reacquaint our blog with your bookmarks bar.
– SportDistort Team.