@OneMinuteBriefs: Advertise SEX


If you weren’t already thinking about it, you are now.

Some studies reckon us blokes think about it every 7 seconds. Wow, how does anyone get anything done?

For something apparently so prevalent in our minds, the lack of visceral, gratuitous, pornographic shock-ads was most surprising. In fact, the best thing about Friday’s brief was the, almost universal, attempt to be subtle. As if it’s some sort of taboo.

My ads were no different. And overall it turned out to be a really cracking brief.

The guys over at @OneMinuteBriefs were pretty chuffed with their glittering testimonial (2nd ad down). And I was pretty stoked to be able to crowbar in some onomatopoeia – Bow Chicka Wow Wow.

Let me know what you think in the comments below, you pervs.

P.S. They reckon that sex sells, so let’s see how much ogling this post gets. I’ll let you guys know.

Onomatopoeic sound from porn.
Is oneminutebriefs better than sex? Noise Keith Lemon makes oooooooshhh Quagmire catchphrase giggity Duble entendre for business and sex

Pokerstars.com – CopySpot


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Thought I’d give the WordPress app on my phone a test drive.

Well I’m on a train actually. And this ad really caught my eye.

Ads on trains often reference the tussle and bustle of commuter life; something the viewer immediately relates to. Running for the frequently-late, tin can sweatboxes is something I am no stranger to.

The copy highlights how getting a seat shouldn’t be your priority. After all you can play poker standing up.

They’ve just undertaken the 100m, and you’re chilling around the poker table. Who’s laughing now?

Concise, easily relatable, and effective.

Bravo pokerstars.com, I fold.

@OneMinuteBriefs: Advertise Electricians


My 1 minute creations are a bit of a cringe today. But hey, it’s 1 goddamn minute.

A bit ironic really when you consider that a flashing bulb is synonymous with bright ideas. Definitely a case of quantity over quality today.

The urge to include the likes of “shockingly low prices” was pretty damn irresistible.

However the announcement of Beckham’s retirement did allow me to respond directly to current events in my copy. And provided a bit of inspiration for an alternative take on the concept.

Let me know in the comments which one’s your favourite.
ELECTRICIAN - BECKS ELECTRICIAN - CANDLES ELECTRICIAN - FUSE ELECTRICIAN - LIGHTS ARE OFF ELECTRICIANS - SHOCKING PRICES

Why choose ads over academia?


A guest post for the lads over at Bank of Creativity. Read it here. Be sure to show them some love at @BOC_ATM and @OneMinuteBriefs

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WHY CHOOSE ADS OVER ACADEMIA? (a.k.a. Dr. Sheldon Cooper vs. Don Draper)

How many professors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to undertake lengthy yet inconclusive research into the phenomenon – no Wikipedia allowed.

1 to write down his findings.

And…

1 to call the electrician when all else fails.

Sorry, bad joke. Let me get straight to the point: here’s the reasons why ads kick academia’s lily ass.

1. Writing academically is just so frustratingly bland, mundane and ball-numbingly serious.

Yes academics can write, but it’s hardly inspiring stuff.

Language is so multi-faceted yet they’re only bothering with half the utility belt – not exactly Batman’s style. And to be honest Batman is awesome. Why wouldn’t you want to emulate Batman?

Writing is about expression and academics could seriously learn a few things from writing to advertise.
Less complicated sentences for a start.

As a reader I want to be entertained, not bored, as I descend an entire page that contains just 3 sentences.

As a writer I want to add the odd colloquialism here and there. I want to swear (BOLLOCKS) and I want to be engaging with real people; not a bunch of musty, tweed-wearing fucks.

2. REAL PEOPLE + REAL WORLD = GREAT WRITING.

You’ve heard the stereotype haven’t you? Academics are a bit like bubble boy. Except their bubble is full of wine, old-book smell and self-importance.

They lack exposure to the real world. From the translucence of their bubble it’s like viewing the world through some shower glass.

It doesn’t help that an academic career consists of: school; college; university; more uni; even more uni; and finally research/ teaching – so much bloody learning. No wonder academic writing is so stale.

Real life inspires. Ads are organic – they need sustenance and real-world current events are damn tasty. Take the “Nando’s” ad (above) for instance:
Yep, that’s right. When I watch football, technically I’m working. If that’s not an incentive to make a switch I don’t know what is.

3. Why does everything I write sound like ‘90s rap?

A historian reads and reads and reads until, hopefully, something original appears to them. Half the time it’s just a skewed interpretation of some other guy’s theory.

Gee whizz.

With advertising, originality is a must not a plus. That’s why it remains important to stay connected with the outside world and pop that bubble.

Crafting the perfect copy for your ads is as refreshing as a cold-one on a summers day. Your words connecting with real people, not some academic peer or journal.

The name of the game is creation, not regurgitation.

That may sound like a line from a terrible ‘90s rap, but it’s true.

The emphasis on originality does mean that some ads will leave you guffawing, whilst others will leave you gargling… bleach.

Oh yes, hyperbole. Something else that’s far too much fun for your history paper.

Convinced?

—-

I’ve just finished my degree. As you might be able to tell, I couldn’t be happier. I’ve been blogging for a while, but my career in copywriting is just beginning. And I can’t bloody wait.

If you love writing like a real person, for real people, then you should understand.

Regardless, no one likes a Sheldon.

@OneMinuteBriefs: Advertise the new Man City job.


 

Absolutely no time to write about these guys.

Man City = jokes about money, Sheikhs, and egos.

See also: blue moon and noisy neighbours.

I even tried, and probably failed, to do one about Star Wars. Good, it was not.

Didn’t have time for one yesterday. Sorry guys @OneMinuteBriefs, I was doing my last ever uni exam.

Party on.
CITY - AUDITIONS CITY - BLUEMOON CITY - EGOS CITY - STARWARS

@OneMinuteBriefs: Advertise Photoshop


Haven’t got too much time today for writing – been too busy shopping.

I had the displeasure of visiting Abercrombie & Fitch whose advertising campaigns, funnily enough, are certainly no stranger to Photoshop.

It’s not that I hate the clothes. It’s the constant interaction, the feigned interest in your life, the 3-pronged assault on the senses (too dark, too loud, too pungent), and the naked men (well half) that doesn’t do it for me.

Most importantly, where are the naked babes?

How’s that fair?

I could probably rant for hours, but luckily for you I’ll cut straight to the chase.

looks better in photoshop

I can sense the designer in you shuddering at the pixelated logo and the comic sans typeface. And you’re right, it’s disgusting. Hence the message – hope it’s convincing.

Photos optimised in photoshop

Photoshop is meant to be part of the journey your memory/photo takes. So from the “Say Cheese” to all your adjustments, Photoshop is along for the ride.

Photoshop not instagram

Instagram has made editing photos trendy. Photoshop however is a tad more sophisticated and more people should be aware of that.

Get involved. Leave a comment & share.

How would your ads shape up for the photo editing software?

Oh and let me know what your thoughts are on A&F… could spark quite an interesting debate.

@OneMinuteBriefs: Advertise a Blind charity


Today I created a few ads for charities supporting sufferers from blindness.

From Guide Dogs to the RNIB to the NFB.

Hope you enjoy.

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