IT’S CANCER NOT CAN’TCER
Tag Archives: copywriter
IT’S CANCER NOT CAN’TCER
My 1 minute creations are a bit of a cringe today. But hey, it’s 1 goddamn minute.
A bit ironic really when you consider that a flashing bulb is synonymous with bright ideas. Definitely a case of quantity over quality today.
The urge to include the likes of “shockingly low prices” was pretty damn irresistible.
However the announcement of Beckham’s retirement did allow me to respond directly to current events in my copy. And provided a bit of inspiration for an alternative take on the concept.
How do I advertise me?
At first I considered running a bit of a jokey one. For example: “Modesty’s Overrated – I’m Not.
But instead I decided to advertise something I can offer, and lay out why my services are worth courting.
I didn’t want to insult anyone, so I chose a list of genuinely great things, but… they’re all lacking that little bit extra – to maximise their usefulness or potential.
Hope I sound great.
Actually that’s a complete lie, I really like cats.
So time to hang up and apologise for wasting the RSPCA’s time because this is just an experiment I thought I’d share with you.
Allow me to explain…
A little birdy once told me that everything you write needs a hook. Something that catches the reader’s attention, makes them want to read on, and leaves them no choice but to read on. The most effective way to do this is with a captivating headline – or even a shocking one.
Actually that was a half lie as well. It wasn’t a little bird, it was actually a blog dedicated to copywriting.
This very helpful website informed me that my primary aim should be to get my first sentence read. The headline should offer the reader something that benefits them and makes them powerless to resist the pull of the next sentence.
Needless to say, for legal reasoning, this statement has never been more accurate.
This website used the header “Don’t Read This or the Kitty Gets It!” as a crude example, hence my homage. I feel I may have crossed the line, but that’s science. This experiment was designed to push the boundaries.
The author provides a less-shocking-than-mine SHOCK factor. And it works!
So in theory you’re still reading, right?
Now that Fluffy’s (that’s the cat) helped me get your attention, today I discovered People Per Hour – a website that allows you to search for and offer your creative services. So I decided to create a profile and advertise my skills to the big wide world.
I’m offering fresh, interesting, and engaging copy for whatever you need it for. That’s online web copy, catchy hooks and headlines, social media, blogs, articles, and more covered. I’ve even set up an Hourlie – in English that’s me offering you some high quality copy for £10.
If you want 250 words that’s just 4p per word. For 500, that’s a ridiculous 2p per word. You get the idea, I’ll leave the maths to you.
So now I’ve told you what I wanted to, you’ll be happy to hear I’m open for business.
Oh, and don’t worry the blog claims that Fluffy’s fine.
All that’s left is for you to share, like and subscribe and no animals will be harmed.
My 1st entry did a lot better than I could have expected. So I’ve decided to go full steam ahead with my latest train of thought.
Would you picture this? You’re at home relaxing, you’ve switched on the television, and to your delight, the dulcet tones of David Attenborough immediately greet you.
You’ve tuned in just in time for BBC’s Africa.
Amongst the regalia of picturesque African landscapes, and beautiful slow-mo footage, there’s an elephant wandering the savannah with a whole host of unexpected passengers – birds.
It’s called a symbiotic relationship – the elephant tolerates it’s squawking free-riders, as their favourite snack includes the bugs living in, and around, the elephants skin. A full belly and tic-free skin seems like a fair deal to me.
You’re probably wandering what this has got to do with me, or copywriting, for that matter?
Well, a friend of mine recently started a t-shirt company – Mr. Tee’s Me.
What any fledgling company needs is publicity and something to drive it’s traffic. So I thought to myself: Why don’t I practice writing some copy for my friends new website?
Practice makes perfect after all… and just maybe he’ll be my elephant.
Here it goes:
They say an elephant never forgets and chances are you’ll find it pretty tricky to forget Mr. Tee’s Me‘s unique, hand-drawn designs.
It’s not every day you don a scuba-diving squirrel on your chest. And certainly not a bow-tie wearing grizzly bear. People even travel thousands of miles to China to catch a rare glimpse of a panda. But why bother? Mr. Tee’s Me offers a one of a kind paddling panda design. That’s right, it’s paddling.
Did I mention it has human legs? More than quirky enough for the Topman and Topshoppers of this world. Why have “Geek” or “Swagger” emblazoned across your chest when you can have an illustration such as this?
Showcasing someone’s creative and artistic talents with a Mr. Tee’s Me tee will genuinely set you apart from the crowd. Not only because it wasn’t created in five seconds flat with some “creative” genius inputting text into a soulless computer program, but because each tee is a limited edition by it’s very nature.
When Mr. Tee’s Me really sets off artists of all varieties will submit work for t-shirts. Not only will this ensure you get a unique tee, but you’ll be supporting budding artists and ensuring the t-shirt market remains fresh and vibrant.
So what makes a great t-shirt? And what makes a great t-shirt brand?
Well for a start, designs that are clearly artistic and not conveyor belt solutions to making profits – providing you, the customer, with a product that is a limited edition. Add to that a brand dedicated to creating and fostering a community of talented designers. Of course it also helps if it’s affordable.
Ranging from £10 – £20, these tee’s certainly occupy the lower end of today’s inflated market.
If YOU share this way of thinking, I ensure you these requirements can be simplified fairly easily into one brand:
Mr. Tee’s Me. (www.mrteesme.com)
So there it is. That was good fun.
His t-shirts are most impressive, and they’ve provided me with an opportunity to practice my copywriting. Everyone’s a winner.
Maybe I should have told Mr. Tee’s Me about this before I went ahead with it. I wouldn’t want there to be an elephant in the room next time we meet. But then again, if everything goes to plan, the tale of the elephant – and the bird – could really help us both out.
Please do subscribe and tell your friends/colleagues/peers. Who knows what I might try and sell you next time.
A practice exercise I did for a job application. I had to sell a newsletter offering penny-share investments like the one below.
The perfect penny share without pushing the boat out?
A Black Box for a Black Swan Moment:
An unrivalled bit of kit with a
– What price do you put on security? Because government’s
pledge a lot.
– One company’s little black box has provided the solution – and has already secured a contract with a large Asian country worth ¢18 million over 3 years.
– A huge market is emerging… it’s time to get on board.
Dear Profit Seeker,
What does the U.S., the E.U., and major players in Asia all have in common?
Besides A LOT of coastline to protect, they have all declared that various types of vessel within their jurisdiction require this little black box, or Automatic Identification System (AIS).
That’s a lot of vessels, and one hell of a market.
In the 21st century – the age of transnational terrorism – government’s value the protection
of their maritime borders.
In steps the little Black Box, and only the little black box.
Now that boat owners will be forced to fit an AIS, a device that utilises a Global Positioning Module (GPS) to monitor activity, they’ll sell in their tens of thousands, and there’s only one company in the market.
It’s inspiration? A rhetorical question posed by a Florida coast guard:
“Wouldn’t it be nice… if we could keep track of each and every one of those vessels?”, he said to the brains behind the black box.
Allow me to pose an even better question:
Wouldn’t it be nice… if YOU could find a company with a quality product, with a global demand, no competition, high profit margins, and a deflated share price – the perfect penny share investment?
I implore you to look no further.
Here’s why this is such a profitable venture.
Following an oversight on a side project designing radio handsets, the company placed this
part of the business into administration, sending it’s share prices through the floor.
Now YOU can pick up these shares for as little as 4.75p.
With potential for a meteoric rise, these shares have been set a target price of 30p!
That’s over a five-fold increase.
With new rules and regulations meaning vessels have to purchase the black box this could be the ideal time for YOU to cash-in on this relatively unknown business while it remains at such bargain bucket prices.
Time to ensure you don’t miss the boat on this black box technology.
Make sure YOU’RE not wishing about what could have been, thinking “I wish I had invested in that…”
People are making a lot of money from tips like this right now.
Interested? Well YOU don’t need a GPS to find a great penny share.
But to make certain you don’t miss out on more great tips, how about a subscription to
Red Hot Penny Shares?